Men and Domestic Violence

It is striking how a lot of men, women and family groups are immersed in the cycles of violence, but are unable to recognize it.

As I have noted, the violence is not exclusive to men, women are also violent assault their partners. However, the treatment of recent articles has been directed mainly to the role performed by men.

It seems that several factors come into play in this dispute of violence, namely the concepts of authority, control and domination. Because the relationship as a couple, as in all human relationships these situations occur in the life of human interactions. What is really important is not to occur, but what is the treatment or how we live and do or suffer.

I am convinced that no man decides to form a relationship with a partner to be violent, but the intimacy and interactions of living together, is assuming that the woman must submit. The concept of this way of seeing life and relationships, has to do by hand, with social and educational schemes that favor males, as well as family education he received. But beware, these are also subject to these schemes, and may therefore accept it quietly and passively.

Usually when the relationship becomes violent situations, a number of prejudices and duties, on the way to be partners. When she does not conform to what your mate thinks, then the other feels the right to: assaulting, beating, threatening, stealing their safety and esteem, but above all it instills fear and she feels there is no exit for your situation.

So it is very important to reflect on what are the patterns of authority that our parents had for us:

What was my father, how exercised his authority?

What did my father also women and men?

How my parents were related?

Who was in control, authority, aggression, and sometimes even shock?

The same goes for the figure of the mother:

How were women valued in my home?

Was it better the position of my brother than mine?

And so on, we know the reasons why my partner exercises violence, and above all, because I admit it. There are social, cultural and historical perpetuate violence. But the fact that it has been so in the past, not to say first that we must continue to suffer, and second, that no longer have to leave this legacy to future generations.

Women see their partners in a suddenly changed and became violent. That's not true, there is always minimal signs of control, authority and violence, but of course what happens is that in the conquest, every man and every woman shows her best charms, for the sake of being in love, all apologies, it denied or long passes.

How man relates to the couple, believing that it is he who has the truth of how to live life and have made him feel, as for that is man. Violent men are recognized, but know they are primarily not shown. It is important to recognize that all these mechanisms operate unconsciously, and of course, they, who come to exercise, also suffer from its ravages.

Subtly men initiate a kind of control over their partners: they control the weather, friends, clothes, get upset when they have different interests than his. They should be the center of attention and interest and nothing more. Interpret behaviors the follow, pursue, harass them. It is important to emphasize that violence need not be only physical. In contrast, male violence is more difficult to recognize which is done passively and controlling.

The first time that violence begins inserted in a relationship, is when he sees that she is "almost" of your property and constantly need cambiega their ways and their ways. She almost gives up his life to give to his love of violence. It is precisely when a woman stops to limit the intrusion, when man, in terms of power has won the game.

If your partner asks you to modify your speech, sit down, dressed, to see your friends, if ever he changes plans and disqualifies your own or do not take the importance to you, you are certainly shaping up to a relationship that will be colored by the struggle for power, control, authority and violence.

I hear countless women with expressions like:

There is money for everything except mí.A brings me cenar.Es times I can not study because I deja.No that I can buy more house because I control the dinero.Y So what can happen to any of the spaces intellectual, the emotional, the sexual, social and even to the family. It is he who decides what and how. But when she does not submit to, or plays that's not how he decided, then feel with all the authority to crack down physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

Moreover, the violence comes when least expected. Women live in fear of the reactions of his men and try to do everything right, everything better for him not to be angry, do not bother, be happy and pleased. But it seems that no matter what they do, however, it happens.

There is also in man and in the culture's attitude and the concept that a woman is the one that has to serve. The service man of the house is a must. It is the recognition of a seemingly invisible machismo, not seen, but what, smell, feel and breathe. He will serve first, their stuff is ready first. The children and women and have their time. They are not deprived of anything, but they and the children and their needs can be expected.

In general, male violence live so long because a series of emotional and physical disorders difficult to tolerate. In most situations, this violence arises in intimacy, closing the door. For a great number of men, expressing his good humor and sympathy in the social, but going beyond the private space, are capable of the lowest behavior toward his partner.

Women also participate in its acceptance, the important thing is the recognition of the violence.

In studies on the subject we talk about the cycle of violence. That is, the relationship with your partner and family violence does not happen all the time. On the contrary, has a cycle that is important to make clear:

1 º. The relationship is maintained in a tense calm and interactions appear to be tolerable.

2 º. Increased tension in the relationship, usually unimportant details, start provocations, which can be in the form of criticism or sarcasm ...

3 .- A detail triggered violence that may be screaming, hitting. And, once the voltage drops ...

4 º. It comes repentance and forgiveness, does not happen again, telo swear I love you, but not what happens, and it relies on the promises already heard, and such and never met ... so, back to crying and tense the cycle starts again ...

If this sounds familiar, surely you and your partner are in a violent and destructive relationship. It is important to be aware and seek help if they can not solve alone. The awareness is fundamental to achieve any change we need in it. At times, men refuse to seek help, but fortunately, there are other

Masculinity that engenders violence, disrupts the most sensitive fibers of the people he loves most. The couple, children, sisters and sometimes even their own parents.

You need to speak out and try to find a solution to this situation that a lot of emotional pain has left countless families, and a large number of deaths of the soul and physical bruises caused.

Have been the causes of violence and abuse creates feelings of injustice, revenge, resentment and lack of meaning in life. People do not feel worthy and courageous.

This is really the life you deserve a human being?

Both men and women need to recognize it, that we identify, and yes we are living a situation, then seek help and try to get out of that cycle so painful that tarnishes the life ...

All require work not from the perspective of trial but of understanding both for those who exercise it, to the sufferer.

It takes great courage to acknowledge that one or is embroiled in a relationship of this nature. Both men and women require a name, and this is called violence.

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